Crystal & Kelsea Corner
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Every Monday 9am EST we will have a new blog post here, giving you tips & advice when it comes to some of life's common issues. If you would like to contribute by asking a question, email us at email@example.com *Blog posts go from Bottom to Top of Page, meaning older articles will be below. Here is a full list of each post.
10-11-2021 Use Sundays for Better Mondays
Read Time: 2 minutes 3 seconds.
Sunday. The day you mourn the weekend until Friday, get ready to sail through a busy week, and start getting overwhelmed with everything that lies ahead.
Preparing for the week ahead on Sunday has been the BEST thing I’ve done for my personal self-care. Knowing what waits for me in the week ahead allows me to be prepared, and better handle last minute changes or emergencies.
Enjoy your Sunday. Enjoy the whole weekend. But make time to prepare.
Here are 5 things you can do on Sunday to have a better Monday!
First thing, organize your to-do list. This should be only things that YOU need to do, not things that other people need to do. Write things down using the A.B.C. model.
A - the things you HAVE to do this week
B - the things you SHOULD do, but there won’t really be any consequences if you put them off
C - the things you’d like to do, but they can wait.
Second, if possible, do your grocery shopping for the week! Most people aren’t out at the stores in the morning and there are so many deals in most stores every Sunday. Get it done for the week, and make sure you have a good plan of the food for the week coming up.
Third, meal prep. Get some tupperware (you can get about 80 pieces for $10 at Walmart). Put some food that doesn’t go bad when kept like that throughout the week. Put some fruit and veggies in there for a quick to-go snack during the week. My favorite snack to prepare? Prosciutto mozzarella sticks!
Fourth favorite Sunday activity; plan your outfits for the week! Check the weather, pick your favorite outfits, and hang them up where you can easily grab them in the mornings.
Lastly, clean up your space! I typically do an entire deep clean of the house on Sunday evenings. This allows me to reorganize, get into a cleaner and more focused mindset and not have to worry about laundry first thing Monday morning.
Make a whole home cooked meal on Sunday evening. This is most likely the last time you’ll be all together and at peace during the busy school or work week, so enjoy it. Don’t point it by worrying about tomorrow. Afterall, you’re now prepared for the next 5 days!
Send us an email at firstname.lastname@example.org telling us what YOU do to prepare for the week!
10-04-2021 How to Stop Overthinking
Read Time: 3 minutes 32 seconds.
Let’s consider what overthinking actually is. This one is pretty straightforward. Overthinking is essentially thinking too much.
This can be analyzing the smallest events until they seem to be larger and more significant than they actually were. As an example, let’s say you got one bad mark on an important work review. Everything else was fine, except you didn’t clean something correctly. Instead of processing that and saying “okay, I did well, I’ll just make a note to myself to remember to do this next time.” Someone who chronically overthinks will take that one negative mark and turn it into “I’m going to lose my job”. You’ve now taken what could’ve been a small thought and was a small event and turned it into something that is no longer manageable.
Here is where anxiety sets in.
People tend to overthink more than they do, but what we’re covering here is for those who overthink all the time, to the point that your daily life is impacted. You can’t plan for the future because you’re uncertain about the future. You won’t plan that vacation because you don’t think you’ll have a job in 3 months.
We all overthink from time to time, it’s our mind’s natural hyper-vigilance. We are just human. We are still processing our recent technological evolutions and still have primitive brain functions. But, through evolution we have developed a pretty advanced brain that can learn new habits and stop negative ways of thinking.
It’s important to differentiate between the chronic over thinker and the occasional over thinker because of the process our bodies naturally go through to get rid of the stress caused by overthinking. When we go to bed, and enter the REM process of sleep, our brain processes everything that happened that day and decides what “file cabinet” to put it in. That’s why you might vaguely remember that one embarrassing thing that happened but it won’t be the first thing on your mind when you wake up. However, if you’re not sleeping because you’re overthinking so much, or you’re not following a good sleep pattern, you’re not going to enter or effectively go through this stage of sleep.
Some steps to start the process of stopping overthinking. I’m going to emphasize here that everything we mention will only work if you continue to practice these every day.
There is no quick fix for anything. You have to be patient with yourself.
First, recognize when you’re overthinking. Pay attention to how you think throughout the day and notice when you’re feeling stressed. What are you thinking about during the most anxious parts of your day? Write it down in a journal to keep track of it all and start to notice the pattern throughout the week.
Second, you might be tempted to think about the topic that’s stressing you out. Don’t remind yourself that you’re trying to fix this issue. Focus on the ways you can solve that problem. You’re going to think about it anyway, why not spend that same energy thinking of a solution? A solution doesn’t have to be fixing the issue. It can be how you can better handle what’s happening around you.
Next, you’ve learned what the thoughts are that you overthink about. Think in a positive way while you challenge these thoughts. Using our example from earlier with the negative mark on a work review. Think about where this emotion comes from and where this thought comes from. Challenge your thought, realize it’s negative, and write these down so you can look at the challenge along with the thought. Take 20 minutes every time you have a negative thought and do this process. Even if you try it for a week, you’ll start to see a pattern and start to think more positively because you’re sitting and forcing yourself to think in a different way about something that you think about frequently. Your brain is going to naturally latch onto that solution, because it’s a new way of “healing” something that has continued to cause issues internally.
Remember, we have a 5 day Program called “Stop Overthinking, Start Understanding” if you want a targeted plan to stop overthinking and damaging your mental health! Take the assessment on our Home page!
9-27-2021 How to be Emotionally Resilient
Read Time: 2 minutes 39 seconds.
First things first, emotional resilience does not mean being uncaring.
Emotional resilience is your ability to adapt to a stressful situation. If you have less emotional resilience, you might have a harder time navigating changes in your personal or professional life, or just dealing with stress in general.
We have to understand that with every single aspect of our lives, balance is the key. Not mastery. Being TOO emotionally resilient can make you put more pressure on yourself to achieve your goals. You might be overconfident in your abilities, which is the fastest way to fail. If you lack significant emotional resilience, you’re going to have a victimized personality. These types of people usually have significant substance abuse issues, because they feel overwhelmed all the time due to life just happening as it does. The smallest inconvenience can throw you completely off.
You want to be somewhere in the middle. You don’t want to expect so much of yourself that you do more damage than good, and you don’t want to spiral every time something happens in your life. You want to be able to challenge yourself and be confident no matter the outcome and so you can handle stressful situations in an appropriate way.
This topic does merge into the “nature versus nurture” debate. Are some people just born more resilient than others? Maybe, and probably. But, your life experiences also play a part in who you are. This is the part we’re going to focus on You won’t ever be the perfect balance of something, but you can be the perfect balance as it concerns you and only you.
People that are more emotionally resilient are also more aware of how they feel, meaning they are in control of their emotions and understand how to feel them in a safe way. They believe they are in control of the things that happen to them and are more action-oriented when it comes to their goals. You’ll handle stressful events easily, or at least easier than before. More importantly, you’ll be more connected with yourself, and that’s the first place to be when it comes to anyone looking to make a significant positive change in their lives.
First, just relax. Go for a nice nature hike or breathe deeply.
You could also spend time getting to know yourself. Read a new book, figure out what you’re passionate about and spend time doing that.
Be more assertive. Say no when you don’t want to take on another project. Eat healthy, or at least healthier than you have been if you have a poor diet. Take care of yourself by replacing all your negative thoughts with positive ones.
I’m going to link some resources for you below. They are the Resilience Psychometric Test and the Resiliency Quiz from Practical Psychology Press. These will measure your emotional resilience.
LifeIQ Coaching also has a 5 day program designed for people who want to be more (or less) emotionally resilient! Take our Assessment on our Home Page if you’re interested in this life changing 5 Day Program!
9-20-2021 Turning Weaknesses into Strengths
Read Time: 2 minutes 3 seconds.
Let’s learn how to turn our weaknesses into strengths!
The most difficult part of this process is being honest with yourself.
Why would it be important to understand our weaknesses? We’re often taught that our vulnerabilities are things we should be ashamed of, work on heavily, or just hide. But, all of us are just a culmination of our weaknesses and our strengths working together.
We can use our weaknesses to help us move forward in our individual lives.
First, identify your weaknesses. Sit for 15 minutes and think of some things that you hold against yourself. Some common weaknesses are: impatience, procrastination, not handling criticism well, selfish, blunt, impulsive, or bossy. Really be honest with yourself here. Don’t hide the answer in a story like “well, when I was in high school someone made fun of the way I talk so now I’m shy.”
Second, tell a story about your weakness. Let’s use procrastination as our example. You might say “I sometimes put off important work until the last minute, and because of this I feel anxious and upset.” Relate this to a time when you saw this weakness in action. “One time at work I put off an important file for a big client. The day before it was due I had to stay up all night getting it done.” Dig way deep at this step. You want to feel any pain associated with this weakness. Write down what you feel.
Now, this next part might sound...weird. Because it goes against what we’ve been told to do. We are going to turn this weakness into a strength, not by eliminating it but by changing the way we think about it.
Procrastination is our example, so let’s flip it! The difference between that being a positive and a negative trait is “production” versus “laziness”.
“Because I procrastinated, I was able to cut out all distractions since I needed to get this done. I was efficient with my work.”
Your weaknesses can work FOR you, but you’ve spent so long letting them work AGAINST you that this is going to take some time. You’re too loud? Maybe you’re an excellent speaker. You’re too sensitive? There’s THOUSANDS of career paths out there for empathy.
Let’s recap these steps:
- Find your weaknesses
- Feel your weaknesses
- Start to use positive language about your weaknesses.
- Continue to use positive language about your weaknesses, even when it’s hard.
There are different types of weaknesses. We’re only talking about personal weaknesses, such as personality weaknesses. Not knowing how to use Microsoft Excel is a knowledge based weakness, meaning you can learn how to & that is no longer an “issue”. Personality weaknesses can be changed or trashed, but you’ll spend much less energy being positive about your weakness than negative about it. Spend your energy smarter, not harder.
If you have a specific weakness that you’d like help changing, send us an email or take our free assessment on the Home page!
Talk to you soon!
9-13-2021 How to Be "In The Moment."
Read Time: 5 minutes 29 seconds.
“Being in the moment.” Sounds super cliche, I know. But being present is a literal scientifically proven method for reducing anxiety, increasing your physical health, and helping you align with your true self. When you’re aware of what’s going on right now, you’ll be able to fight negative thoughts and emotions without as much resilience as if you weren’t present & recognizing those emotions and thoughts.
When you are present in the moment, you're more aware of what is going on around you. Time literally does not exist in the present moment. It’s just happening right here & right now. A lot of us, myself included, will focus on the past or worry about the future. But, nothing is happening there. Anything that happened in the past already happened and there is nothing we can do to change that. Anything that happens in the future hasn’t happened yet, and therefore we can’t control that either.
This is going to sound...mean, for lack of a better word. Some people have a victim mindset. Those are the people that think everything that has ever happened has only happened to them and that’s the only thing that matters. They surround themselves with negativity because that’s what they have convinced themselves they deserve.
On the other hand, there are people with superior mindsets. These are the people who think their future is all planned out. They know that they are going to be wildly successful at whatever they want to do and nothing can stop them. But, when life happens, as it does, they get setbacks. They feel failure twice as hard as someone who is in the present moment.
That’s not to say there is anything wrong with either of those mindsets, and we all have demonstrated both perspectives at some point in our lives. The problem arises when we constantly think that way.
It’s easy to say “just be present”, but it’s also one of the hardest things to train your mind to do. All around us we are bombarded with ads for the future, family asking what we have planned for our lives, friends planning their futures. As kids we’re told about retirement but never told about the 65+ years of life until then.
We also are human, and that means we do remember past experiences. We might stay there and feel guilt or sadness because of how things used to be. You might not feel a lot of positive emotions when pondering on your past. But, that person isn’t you anymore. You cannot go back and change who you were, what you have done, or what has happened. When you’re thinking about the future, you might also have those same negative emotions of doubt and anxiety.
But you can control where your mind goes, and how long it stays there.
The solution I’m about to give you is only a solution when you put in the effort. You have to try. You have to be ready to try. That’s why our personal coaching system has such an in-depth process before we even start. If you aren’t ready, it won’t work. You’ve been living like this for at least 20 years, you CANNOT expect yourself to change your thought patterns overnight.
The solution? Balance. You have to look to the future so you can plan ahead to a certain degree. If you have a business meeting tomorrow or school starts in 3 weeks, that’s planning and looking ahead. We also have to be aware of our past experiences, too.
How do you balance those things out? By being aware of your thoughts.
Keep these two things in mind before you try the exercises below.
- Focus on the past to learn, not to yearn.
- Think small & short. If you find yourself thinking or worrying about the future, set a timer for 5 minutes. Write down what you’re thinking. Consider what you can immediately control out of those things & what you can’t. Then, bring yourself right back to now when you’re timer goes off. Think about what you have to do right now to either prevent or help those things you’ve thought about in the future.
Alright, I’ll leave you with 3 exercises to try & what benefit they give.
- Write in a journal the second you wake up. Before you check your phone. Write freely for 5 to 10 minutes. Whatever you’re thinking about, write it down. Don’t read it when you’re done. Instead, tell yourself something positive for the day. Keep saying it outloud or in your head while you’re getting ready.
- The benefit? Once you’ve written these “wake-up time” thoughts down, your brain is going to recognize that you have acknowledged them. Even if you take no action, you’ve relayed information from your mind into the world. Think of it as “cleaning off the shelves.” you took out the junk & replaced it with shiny stuff.
- At the end of every day, say out loud what you accomplished during that day. “I woke up on time. I got to work on time.” Celebrate all of the things that you did no matter how small you think they are. Write these things down in another journal.
- This is a great way to measure your progress towards your goals & gives you something to look back on at the end of the week.
- Body. Scans. These are difficult for some, especially if you’re a chronic overthinker. Make this something that you do every day, whether in the morning or at night. Lay down somewhere with no distractions, or minimal distractions. Focus on every single part of your body, starting with your toes and moving all the way up. Pause at each section to really feel your body. This is going to be 10-15 minutes of you just focusing on what’s going on right now.
- Besides this being a great exercise in being in the moment, this is good for your physical health, too! Within a few days, you’re going to start to notice how your body feels regularly, so if something were to be off with your body, you’ll know.
Even if you just take a few minutes a day to tune out all your other thoughts and feel yourself where you are at that moment, that’s fine!
If you want to dive more into yourself and who you are & how to shift your mindset, take our Recharge Your Life Assessment HERE! That’ll show you how we can benefit you in your current goals & determine if you’d be a great fit for one of our 3 programs.
Talk to you soon!