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First things first, emotional resilience does not mean being uncaring.
Emotional resilience is your ability to adapt to a stressful situation. If you have less emotional resilience, you might have a harder time navigating changes in your personal or professional life, or just dealing with stress in general.
We have to understand that with every single aspect of our lives, balance is the key. Not mastery. Being TOO emotionally resilient can make you put more pressure on yourself to achieve your goals. You might be overconfident in your abilities, which is the fastest way to fail. If you lack significant emotional resilience, you’re going to have a victimized personality. These types of people usually have significant substance abuse issues, because they feel overwhelmed all the time due to life just happening as it does. The smallest inconvenience can throw you completely off.
You want to be somewhere in the middle. You don’t want to expect so much of yourself that you do more damage than good, and you don’t want to spiral every time something happens in your life. You want to be able to challenge yourself and be confident no matter the outcome and so you can handle stressful situations in an appropriate way.
This topic does merge into the “nature versus nurture” debate. Are some people just born more resilient than others? Maybe, and probably. But, your life experiences also play a part in who you are. This is the part we’re going to focus on You won’t ever be the perfect balance of something, but you can be the perfect balance as it concerns you and only you.
People that are more emotionally resilient are also more aware of how they feel, meaning they are in control of their emotions and understand how to feel them in a safe way. They believe they are in control of the things that happen to them and are more action-oriented when it comes to their goals. You’ll handle stressful events easily, or at least easier than before. More importantly, you’ll be more connected with yourself, and that’s the first place to be when it comes to anyone looking to make a significant positive change in their lives.
First, just relax. Go for a nice nature hike or breathe deeply.
You could also spend time getting to know yourself. Read a new book, figure out what you’re passionate about and spend time doing that.
Be more assertive. Say no when you don’t want to take on another project. Eat healthy, or at least healthier than you have been if you have a poor diet. Take care of yourself by replacing all your negative thoughts with positive ones.
I’m going to link some resources for you below. They are the Resilience Psychometric Test and the Resiliency Quiz from Practical Psychology Press. These will measure your emotional resilience.
LifeIQ Coaching also has a 5 day program designed for people who want to be more (or less) emotionally resilient! Take our Assessment on our Home Page if you’re interested in this life changing 5 Day Program!