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How do I declutter my life to reclaim happiness?
Declutter is so vague, isn’t it? Declutter what? Do you even know what needs to go? What would you like to stay? I know me, personally, I used to hoard everything. Everything served a purpose for me at one point in time, so naturally, I wanted to keep it forever.
You see, the thing is, everything is temporary. What once may have been a significant aspect of our lives, may no longer be of use at all at the very stage in life we’re on now. An item in your closet that you haven’t touched in two years. The outfit you have tucked away that you haven't been able to fit into, but can’t let go because you want it to fit so badly.. The thoughts you hate & want to stop, the behaviors you act out on, that you know aren't in the person you want to be, & the friend that is always finding the negatives in the positives you find.
Let go of the things, thoughts, habits, & people that no longer serve your higher being. The things that are holding you in a stagnant position, that are holding up space in your life, blocking the possibility for the new, good things that are waiting for you.
Start small. Start with the junk drawer, (that I know we all have) somewhere in the kitchen. Go through all the papers, what has been in there for who knows how long. All the odd & end things, (screws, nails, hooks..) put into a baggy for organization. Next move to your dressers, closets, under your bed.. Go through what you haven't worn, what doesn’t fit you. Chances are if you haven’t worn them in a year or two, you don’t need it… donate it. Don't think of anything as a loss, but something to gain.
Once you are able to let go of the physical things that are taking up unnecessary space in your life, then you can start to challenge yourself. Letting go of anything is a challenge. We, as humans, are conditioned to stay comfortable. Changing our thoughts & our habits is probably one of the most challenging things we can do in our lives. It takes real effort, determination, accountability, & discipline to release bad thoughts & habits, & replace them with healthy alternatives with unstoppable growth. It takes 30 days to create a habit. Really think about one thing that you would want to change to better yourself. Be easy on yourself when you're first starting. Think realistic. Start by waking up to start your day off with a win. Wait 30 minutes in the morning to grab your phone, & instead, use that time to set intentions for the day. Meditate. Read a book. Make your bed. Something that sets your day off being accomplished & getting you baby steps closer to the person you want to be day by day.
Notice the thoughts that come through to you throughout the day. Are they positive or negative? Does it even feel like it would be a rational thought of yours or did it come from left field? Did something happen that may have triggered a thought or feeling? Intentionally think about your thoughts & feelings. How does it make you feel when they pass through you? Do you enjoy it or hate it? If it's a thought or feeling you really enjoy & makes you feel good, do more of what it is that makes you feel that way. If it is a thought or feeling that gives you an uneasy feeling, or you just don't like at all… try to really dig deep to understand why they pass through to you… & make a conscious effort to replace them with something that you enjoy or makes you feel at ease.
The more that you practice & acknowledge it, the easier it will become. Challenge yourself for 30 days. Watch the drastic shifts in your behavior, & your moods.
I did say… declutter the people too.
To be quite honest, this is a very challenging, emotional concept for myself & for everyone that I have ever spoken to about it. How, & who do you declutter from your life? When do you know when it is necessary?
What I have come to realize in most situations where I've had to let any form of relationship go, is, it’s either, out of sight, out of mind; or, love from a distance.
There are people that we genuinely love, that we genuinely want to have in our lives that ultimately are either going on their own path, not ready to grow to the next level with you, or always finding the negatives in your positives. You always have to love yourself more than you ever love someone else. You are the only constant thing in your life. It is so serious for you to put yourself before anyone. When you feel that you are putting more effort into a relationship than the other person, or if you feel that you are constantly being drained by this person by being there for them, it is time to let them go.
If you have a person in your life that tries to make you seem smaller than what you believe you are, you need to let them go. Anyone who hinders your growth. Anyone who makes you feel wrong for being unconventional.
Let them go.
The people that are meant to be in your life will not drain you, or make you work to have them, they will just be there. Learning to say to someone, “I love you, but I love me more,” is one hell of an affirmation. & it speaks volumes. It sets boundaries. & it makes you realize what you're willing to allow, & what you won't. You can love them, but it has to be from a distance.
On the other side to that, there are people who we absolutely have to block out of our lives. Sometimes it's necessary to delete every picture, delete the numbers, block on every social media, & never have contact again. People will try to manipulate you when you try to use your back bone. What good would you be to someone dependent on you if you knew what your own worth was? Don’t fall for the manipulation or gaslighting tactics. The voices in your head telling you everything you deserve, & all that you don't… the voice that is filled with love & compassion for yourself, that is the only voice that you ever should listen to. That is the only voice that will ever have to trust. Anything other than your own voice is one that you need to completely eliminate from your life, out of sight, out of mind. And once those negative voices are gone, you can hear better, you can see better, & you will live better.