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I’ll be honest, when I first began to write about the topic of love and kindness, I was trying to find ways to help people practice it in their everyday lives . The more that I thought about it, that is such a people pleasing aspect, & I want to steer people away from pleasing people and help them please themselves before anything else.
I tell people all the time, I put myself before anyone. Even my kids, & it took me time to really understand this in a way of being unselfish. What it comes down to, is, if you can not be at 100 percent for yourself, how would you be able to show up for someone else & be able to give your best for the better benefit to you & whichever individual has your attention?
There will be days that mental & emotional drainage makes it difficult for you to get out of bed & tend to the things that you are responsible for on a daily basis. I’m here to tell you that that is okay, & you need to take time for yourself. You need to be gentle with yourself in the moments you just feel like you can't. I promise you can, the only thing that is getting in your way is the lack of love and compassion for yourself.
When a child is sick, do you expect them to be up playing, laughing, running around, going to school, or even be in the best of moods? Or would you help to soothe their ailments, their discomforts, & do what you're able to to help beat the cold that has this child feeling miserable. Treat yourself the same. Let yourself rest. Do not beat yourself up for it, & call yourself lazy when you don’t have the energy. Allow yourself to recharge. Be kind to yourself. Forgive yourself for the things you wish you could change, accept the situation that you are currently in, & look at the options available to you to move forward. Allow yourself time. Take long showers. Talk to yourself in the mirror, assure yourself of positive affirmations daily. When you are tired, sleep; when you are happy, play. You can not give to anyone else if you can not give the same thing to yourself.
We gain that sense as we come into adulthood that we have to suck it up & deal with it. That does not mean to get out of bed & act like you are okay when you're not. I want to encourage everyone, as many people as I can to speak up when they are not okay. Let people know that you do not have the mental or emotional capacity to deal with anything more than what you have going on in your life. Tell people no, unapologetically. You could be cuddled up on the couch with a blanket & no pants on, & if someone messages you, you are absolutely not obligated to say yes. Just because you are physically available, doesn't mean that you are mentally.
Love yourself, take care of yourself, be kind to yourself.
You are the only dominant source in your life. Other people give you a purpose, but the only constant is you...you are your number one priority, okay?
You got this!